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The place already has oxygen just normally, right? An ornate, heated delight that strictly prohibits PDA. One of the saunas is constructed of bricks made from Himalayan sea salt. Finally, something for the mouth-breathers!

Sorry dude. Still, Cafe Bistro's fresh and clean chopped salads, fresh squeezed juices, smoothies, and bento-boxes are actually pretty good. Shower solo, or with a pal! You can reserve private spas by the day or half day, with all sorts of massages, facials, and pampering available for large sums of money.

The special room hanky-panky regulations are unconfirmed, though. You can scrape a gold panel off the wall and use it to pay for your ridiculously expensive private detox body and foot bath, caviar and stem-cell facial, and Premier Retreat massage. It costs extra, but is maybe probably worth it. Supposedly these concentrated foot rubs can cure headaches, whiskey headaches, and whatever else is wrong with you. But this photo of a treatment bed beneath super-calming infrared lights looks super ominous.

Carrie Dennis is an Associate Editor for Thrillist and considers her visit to Spa Castle the crown jewel of her career in Internet publishing. Follow her on Twitter CarrrieDennnis.

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Best (cheapest) spas for a less-than-wealthy New Yorker? : AskNYC

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